My children are visiting their father, they left at 4 o'clock Christmas day. It makes me sad. When they are gone, I get to experience Empty Nest Syndrome, and feel purposeless and I HATE it. I walk around in a slump for a day, picking up their bits and pieces and feeling the echoes they have left behind them.
The restaurant is sold, we are buried to the eaves in snow, searching for possibilities and hoping for security, wondering if it even exists or if that is a luxury long gone in this topsy turvy world. Is opportunity a myth, misfortune a probability? Is hope a possibility, despair a prospect?
I see the beauty, but it is hard to feel the sensation when the joy in your life is missing. My children are my life blood, the cuddles, hugs, fighting, dirty dishes in the sink. Their clean folded laundry gives me hope, they'll be back to wear it. In the meantime, the piles are lifeless and I try to search for purpose.
This Christmas was the last time that all my children will be together for a few years. Jacob's mission papers have been turned in, he'll be gone for 2 years, Joseph will leave before he gets back, for two years. David might be deployed this year, Andy is studying to be a chaplain for the Navy and graduates in 2012 and will then be deployed.
My great grandmother used to say that you have no worries so long as you can cover all your children, at one time, with one blanket. I need a bigger blanket!
10 years ago
0 comments:
Post a Comment