Proud of my children and grandchildren

Xander loves the park and I love this photo of him.

This is Joseph, he turned 17 on 21st October, and he loves Football and he, his brothers and Gary have spent the fall trying to get me to understand the rules of Football. In their Wednesday game, they took district, so now they are playing for State. I won't be at Friday nights' game. Good Luck Diggers!

One of the things that I have learned about watching my children and grand children play is that they exist mostly "in the moment". I fail at this miserably. I live either in the past, battling depression or in the future facing anxiety. So I have been practicing a great technique... When I start to panic, heart pounding, etc, I use all my senses to focus on the present. I focus on what I am immediately hearing, laughter, water etc and then I switch to touch and stroke with my fingertips something immediately by me, if it's a table, I notice the grain of the wood etc, Then Sound, Taste, Smell and also try to acknowledge joy in the moment, in one of those activities. At first it feels awkward but over time it has become much easier and the results are rewarding.

Today I was watching Kung Fu Panda with Xander. There is a great quote in it, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

Hamba Gashle

I love these sweet little grandbabies. I bought Freddie the drum for his birthday and he loved it. Such a beautiful boy and he is 15 months old. He calls me regularly all on his own. So sweet!


Xander will be two next month and he and I have got to spend the last two weeks together. His Mama has been on bed rest and so I get to take care of him and I love it. He gets really upset when I am not here, or if I leave and that makes me sad. He loves trucks and rocks. If we go on a walk, which we do everyday, he has to bring back a rock.

Last night, I was fast asleep, on an air mattress when I felt a large, furry thing run across my face. Johanna described the sound I made as a yelp, I must have been holding back because it scared me spitless. I was dreaming about Haiti and the huge rats that we contended with, so in my dream, a rat ran across my face. I didn't go back to sleep, till 7.30 a.m. It was the neighbours cat, I'm not sure how it got into the apartment but I will be double checking windows and doors tonight.

I am at an interesting place in my life. I have worked very hard since I was 14. I have always had a job, even when I was having babies, I either had an outside job or a farm to work on. It seems like the restaurant business has played a huge part in my life and in-between it all, I have tried to fit in my passions, herbal medicine and writing. Now that the restaurant is sold and we are totally done with that, I have the opportunity to do what I want to do. Yes, my children aren't all raised and grand children take time but I am so used to doing that and tons more. What do I do?

I asked myself the question "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" I don't know! So I am going to explore and this blog with be reflecting some of that exploration. I am excited and terrified about this new chapter in my life.

In Africa we say Hamba Gashle "Safe Journey" or "Go Slowly", guess this will have to be my motto.